If I Could Be With You Page 8

  She wanted nothing more than to hear his voice, to have him tell her he wanted her and needed her, to have him say her name as he spilled himself inside her. Damn this age of cell phones. She missed the days when you could call a boy, hear his voice and hang up without him knowing who had called.

  She started the engine and hit the wiper blades to clear the mush that had formed from the heat blast. Reaching for her phone she contemplated texting him, just to check in or say Happy Thanksgiving. They had always been friends, right? Maybe not real friends until her trip to New York, but friendly enough that she should be allowed a holiday wish for him.

  When she reached into her coat pocket for her phone she was surprised to find an envelope, the same size as before with her name written in black on the front. How had it gotten in her coat? Relief flooded through her as she realized her stalker theory had to be wrong. Her coat had been in Lilly and Joe’s bedroom all day, therefore the list of suspects was short. Someone must be playing a practical joke, but the poem in the last card had been so sincere and beautiful. If it was a joke, it wasn’t all that funny.

  She lifted the flap hoping the glitter accompanying the last note wouldn’t make an appearance. Cleaning out her car wouldn’t be as easy as her living room floor. She sighed as small gold stars drifted onto her coat and the car seat. It was another poem, but this time short and sweet. “Roses are red, violets are blue, The two most romantic words in the world wait for you.”

  She flipped the card over looking for the words. A riddle? Whoever was sending her these cards either intended for her to be perplexed or they were hoping she’d figure it out. She reached out and put the car into drive. In a way she was enjoying the attention, she just hoped she wouldn’t have to wait much longer to find out who her secret admirer was. Her thoughts roamed back over the past five months of dates. Had she introduced any of then to her family? Who could have been doing the dirty work of putting the cards in place?

  There was the firefighter from the next town over that had known Joe in high school. He was a beautiful man to be sure, but she hoped it wasn’t him because there hadn’t been any physical connection. Her first date back in July had been a friend of Lilly’s but he travelled too much for work and they had never found time to see each other again. No, none of the men from her recent dating spree made sense. Besides, none of them knew her the way the writer of the first poem did.

  She gave herself a moment of weakness and imagined it could be Charlie. The words, they could so easily have come from his lips, but how? How would he have placed a hand written note in her coat at Thanksgiving, and the first note had shown up days before even if he had come in town for the holidays. It could have been Susie helping him. Lilly wouldn’t have done it but she said he’d talked with Susie, too. Hope swelled in her chest and the ache was sweet and painful.

  She pulled into her driveway and walked up to her porch. Her hand stilled at the keyhole when she heard rustling in the bushes to her right. Her shoulders tensed and the bittersweet pain in her chest turned to adrenaline as she place the keys between her fingers to use as a weapon if need be. She slowly turned and saw a chipmunk staring up at her.

  “You scared me to death, cutie pie,” she said smiling to herself and turned back to the door.”

  “That was never my intention,” a voice from behind her called out.

  Waves of nervous energy rolled through her. This couldn’t be real. He had to be a dream. There was no way that when she turned around Charles McMillan would be standing in her yard on Thanksgiving evening. She was hallucinating, but she had to know, had to see for herself.

  When she turned, there he stood in his black pea coat, collar raised brown waves tousling gently in the cold breeze. In his hands he held a sign, beautifully designed with stenciled calligraphy. She blinked twice trying to comprehend what it meant.

  “Two words,” he said.

  “I’m divorced,” she read out loud.

  “Divorced and here for you, Hannah Miller.”

  He moved towards her purposefully throwing the placard to the porch floor and pulling her into his arms. Warm lips and breath fought against the nip in the air as he lowered his mouth on hers devouring her with a need so visceral it overtook every part of her body. She wanted him in her fingers and toes, in her arms and legs, in her mind, her heart and even more so inside of her. She needed to hold him and feel him moving on top of her, breathing in as he breathed out.

  His hands began to unbutton her coat and the chill that reached her abdomen brought her back to reality for a moment. She grabbed his wrists and stopped him.

  “No, Hannah. Please don’t send me away. I love you. I’m ready for you. I’ve done what you asked.” His eyes stared intently into hers. “I grew up.”

  She put a finger to his lips.

  “It’s cold Charles. I just want to open the door and move inside.”

  His shoulders relaxed and she let go of his wrists.

  “You’re not sending me away?” he asked.

  “I’m not sending you away.”

  She grabbed his hand and led him into her home, watching him take in his surroundings. “I wasn’t expecting company.”

  He reached for her waist and pulled her to him. “You think I’m inspecting your housekeeping skills?” he leaned in and pressed his nose to her neck inhaling deeply. “Hannah, my Hannah. I can’t explain how much I’ve missed your smell, your smile…your body. I’ve been in a constant state of agitation for five months, wanting and needing you and knowing I couldn’t have you yet.”

  She let her fingers play in the curls at his nape and relished the feel of his tongue sliding in and around her earlobe.

  “Let’s talk later, Charles. You’re divorced. You’re here. I don’t want to do anything but be with you right now.”

  He lifted her up, cradling her in strong arms. “Bedroom?” he whispered.

  “Through the hall on the left.”

  He carried her into the small lavender room where she suddenly felt slightly sheepish about her exceedingly girly queen sized bed and trappings. It soon became clear that nothing in the room really mattered, though. Her man was focused on one thing and one thing only, her body. He lifted her sweater over her shoulders and undid the blouse beneath, taking great care with each button. It was agonizingly slow with each brush of a fingertip against her skin turning her on all the more.

  When he had her naked from the waist up, he lowered his mouth to her nipple and she felt electricity streak through her like lightning straight to her clit. She let out a moan to show her appreciation and her sucked harder, scraping her with his teeth as he lapped with his tongue.

  “Charles?” she whispered.

  He stopped to look up at her.

  “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

  So he stood and raised his own long sleeved tee over his head revealing the abs that made her knees go weak and her lower abdomen tighten. He undid his jeans and lowered his boxers with them. His cock stood proud and hard and she wondered if she could desire anything more than she did him in that moment.

  She reached down and slid her own slacks and panties off opening her legs for him and motioning him towards her. The feel of his skin on hers was like velvet, soft and warm. She slid against it as he moved over her trailing kisses down her stomach, past her hips and onto her inner thighs.

  “Oh, God,” she wailed as his lips found her center and his long, callused fingers buried themselves inside her. He worked his lips around and around and pulsed his wrist in time with each stroke of his tongue until she was bucking against him unable to control the sensations coursing through her. She heard herself saying, “Don’t stop,” over and over again as the vibration of the laughter he held back intensified every movement until her world went black and wave after wave crashed through her, drumming pleasure into her very core.

  He raised his head and slid up so that they were eye to eye.

  “I love you, Hannah.”

  “I love
you, Charles.” Her proclamation a barely audible whisper as she recovered from what was possibly the orgasm of her life.

  He pulled her on top of him and her hair fell over her shoulders around her face. She went to push it back but he stopped her.

  “I just need to look at you,” he said.

  She could feel his unyielding girth straining against her pussy and she shifted her hips to rub against him, back and forth she shared the slick wetness he’d made happen. When his tip sat poised at her opening again she lifted forward and then sat back slowly feeling every inch of him slide into her. She saw his eyes darken and close as his hands gripped her hips showing her what he needed, setting the pace for his own release.

  He was deep inside of her, touching places she didn’t know she needed to be touched. Every stroke taking her higher and higher towards a freedom she hadn’t even known existed. She watched his face, the way he drew his eyebrows together straining to hold back, to bring her to another peak. His lips called her name as she moved up and down, grinding against him, trying to get impossibly closer, reaching for something they both wanted desperately.

  She knew when he couldn’t take anymore. His eyes widened and she felt herself being flipped onto her stomach. His hand spread her legs and he took her from behind thrusting hard as his breath on her neck came faster and faster. He snaked his hand round her belly and in between her legs resting most of his weight on top of her. She couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but accept his plunging cock and his massaging fingers. He was close. She felt it and suddenly she was shaking and moaning as he increased the speed of his thrust and his hand. Out of nowhere she lost total control. There was no time, no thoughts, she couldn’t move but she was coming, so hard she heard herself scream, and then with a groan of pure satisfaction she felt him come into her and collapse at her side.

  “Holy shit,” he said quietly and he pulled her against him to spoon.

  She didn’t know if she could speak yet, the experience had overwhelmed her to the verge of tears. Losing total control like that, letting someone into herself completely, she felt like she had made love for the very first time in her life.

  “You’re mine, Hannah.”

  “I’m yours, Charles.”

  She let herself melt into him as she drifted into a heavy sleep.

  ****

  He was staring at her when she woke. If it had been any other man she probably would have been creeped out, but the gentle look of total acceptance and love that lit his face was almost more than she could bear.

  “Good morning,” she said and nuzzled her face between his shoulder and arm.

  “Good morning, gorgeous.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “We should talk today,” he said.

  Fear flooded her veins for a quick second before she intentionally relaxed her muscles and gave into what she had learned to call trust. She trusted him. He’d done what she asked. He’d come half way cross the country for her and he shared every bit of himself with her last night. Talking was good, not scary. Talking was the pathway to their future, a future she was now positive that she wanted very badly.

  “Yes,” she nodded. “Talking is good, but breakfast sounds better. Want me to cook?”

  He laughed at that.

  “Umm, let me think about it.” He rolled his eyes and pretended to be in deep thought. “That’s a negative Ghost Rider.”

  She laughed. “Look at you throwing movie references older than you are. OK then, does that mean you want to cook?”

  He shook his head and suggested they throw on some clothes and eat out somewhere. “I’ve heard that new breakfast place downtown is pretty good, what’s it called again?”

  “You mean the Bacon Shack?”

  “Definitely. Just the name makes me salivate.”

  “OK, let me grab a shower though.” She started to rise and he pulled her back down.

  “I don’t want you to shower. Don’t you have a baseball cap or something to throw your hair up with?”

  “Yeah,” she answered and sat up, “but why can’t I take a shower first?”

  He nuzzled his head against her belly and let his hands massage her ass. “Because you smell like sex and the caveman in me wants you to wear my mark around all day long.” He pushed her back against the pillow and kissed her hard.

  She let him kiss her for a good full minute before she acquiesced.

  “Oh my God, fine. I’ll throw on a cap, but you better hope we don’t see anyone we know.”

  His face fell and she backtracked.

  “Because I’ll look like crap, Charles – not because we’ll be together. I promise, I’m all in this time. There’s nothing holding me back.

  “Let’s get going then.” He flashed her a boyish smile and threw back the covers to reveal a huge morning hard on. “Nothing you have to do anything about,” he teased. “I’m actually more turned on at the thought of bacon right now.”

  “Asshole,” she said, laughing as she left the room to get ready.

  CHAPTER fifteen

  The hostess at the Bacon Shack informed them that there would be about a thirty minute wait for a table considering it was Black Friday and the early morning shoppers were all looking for a place to rest their feet and refuel for more afternoon festivities. Hannah had totally forgotten there would be crowds everywhere and she seriously regretted allowing Charles to talk her into the baseball cap.

  “What if I run into students?” She whined.

  “Hannah! You teach third grade. It’s not like they’ll take one look at you and think you’ve come from a night of debauchery. They’ll think you look tired, or they won’t notice at all.”

  “Their parents will,” she huffed.

  “I don’t think you should be worried about your students or their parents.” He sat on an open window ledge that served as a waiting place and pulled her by the hand to sit on his lap. “If anything, I’d be more worried about your sister and her family, as they’re eating right over there against the wall.”

  Hannah looked to her right and gave a horrified gasp as she spotted Lilly, Joe and the kids at a large table towards the back of the restaurant. “Shit, have they seen us yet?” she asked while hiding her face in his chest.

  “They have now,” he laughed. “Come on, Hannah. They’re family and it’s Black Friday. It looks like they’re just ordering, and there’s space at their table.”

  She looked at his face full of obnoxious excitement at the prospect of joining her family and smacked his chest.

  “You planned this, didn’t you?”

  “No, I promise,” he said as he pinned her wrists together with one hand and kissed the tip of her nose. “But part of me wishes I had. It’s worth it to see you turn this particular shade of red.”

  When she looked back she could see the shocked look on her sister’s face and Joe vigorously waving for them to join the party.

  “Let’s go, sunshine,” he said to her. “Time to make us official.”

  As she walked towards the table where her sister and brother-in-law sat with their three children it reminded her of the walk of shame out of the dorms when she’d stay over with guys in college. She was certain that everyone around her was staring and wondering what that beautiful, young, Charles McMillan was doing with old Ms. Miller from the school. She imagined their looks of censure and glares of judgment.

  “Happy Black Friday!” Charlie called out to everyone as he shook hands with Joe and gave a quick hug to Lilly. “Getting lots of toys and presents today, kids?”

  Lilly made the introductions, “Everyone, this is Charlie. You remember Leisel and Chuck from last night? This is their son who lives in New York. I guess he’s home for Thanksgiving,” she added, sounding seriously peeved.

  “Why weren’t you at the house last night, then?” Delia the oldest of the three asked.

  “I was there for a second, I just didn’t get to talk to anyone but your daddy,” Charlie answered.

  The icy glare Lilly
gave Joe at that revelation was enough to turn the kid’s lemonades into slushies. Hannah could tell that Joe hadn’t shared that bit of info with his wife. That’s why he had been so encouraging and said he thought she and Charlie belonged together. He’d known what was happening all along.

  “I think,” Joe said loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear, “Charlie is more than Leisel and Chuck’s son, kids. This is Aunt Hannah’s new boyfriend.”

  “Ooooh,” teased Thomas, the middle boy of the family. “Hannie’s got a boyfriend. Hannie’s got a boyfriend.”

  At that, she saw Lilly rise from her seat and place her napkin on the table. “I need to get something I left in the car. Hannah, would you come with me?”

  “I don’t think…” she tried her best to stay at the table.

  “Now, Hannah. I really need your help.”

  She felt a hand take hers and squeeze hard. “We’ll be right here waiting. It’s cool.”

  He gave her a wink and she let out the breath she’d been holding. Of course it was cool. She was an adult and she was in love. She was a normal woman having a Black Friday breakfast with her boyfriend who ran into family. Sure, it was all new and a little awkward, but there was nothing wrong about anything happening between them. She thought back to the sign he had held in her yard the night before.

  “He’s divorced,” she said to Lilly as soon as they walked out the front glass door.

  An incredulous look passed over her features, followed by confusion, and then something unexpected – a smile.

  “What?” she almost screamed. “Since when? How did that happen? Why does Joe know what’s happening and I don’t?” She crossed her arms and leaned back against her car.

  Hannah shrugged her shoulders “We really should have grabbed our coats.”

  “Talk fast then, and make it good,” her sister added.

  She almost didn’t know where to begin but she started with the first note the night of the disastrous date with the dog owner. “I didn’t know who it was from, but it was the most beautiful heartfelt poem I’d ever read. I couldn’t believe it was about me.”